tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36170090218434369542024-03-12T18:42:52.478-07:00Product of CompressionA Personal Project Blog of Jennifer S. FlescherJennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.comBlogger457125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-29274710783886158942013-01-20T08:43:00.002-08:002013-01-20T08:43:59.400-08:00Cauliflower SoupSo -- I have been thinking a lot about how this shift of diet is going to work. Whenever I embark on something new, it seems that I completely shut down -- as if to curl myself into a proverbial fetal position and refuse to adapt. The other day I am pretty sure I had coconut flakes for dinner. I am determined to change this. I pulled out all sorts of cook books -- and what I realized is that the Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-32031123122500165992013-01-16T09:30:00.004-08:002013-01-16T09:30:41.188-08:00Begin at the beginning... I end things very slowly. I drag my feet -- I resist -- I complain A lot.
Things have always changed all the time for me -- and so it baffles me that I am so very bad at it...
None the less, it always has to be done.
There have been a lot of endings in the last six months --
and so beginnings get slowed too...
But here it is, 2013 -- and I'm ready to start on this new project -- Cooking For One.Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-71380785666124642662012-11-18T08:01:00.000-08:002012-11-18T08:01:16.593-08:00Note to self: don't eat in the car.Sometimes it even feels like too much of an intrusion into life even to stop somewhere to buy myself food...
it's almost like my own needs are an intrusion in my life...
of course I spend much of my life caring for other people's needs.
I am interested in the feminist perspective on this.
Also, of course beyond that...
the human, personal.
Taking care of one's self always seems out of Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-5384296515140299902012-11-17T19:11:00.001-08:002012-11-17T19:12:03.551-08:00Not Cooking for OneOk... I've been dragging my feet on this new project.
I've been thinking about what kind of a construct would work
and if it would distract me from the writing I am supposed to be really focusing on right now...
how to begin, do I have the energy to begin, do I have anything good left to say...
I've been thinking of it like a writing project.
But that isn't how this thing started -- each year I Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-15849757978415882422012-10-03T09:36:00.001-07:002012-10-03T09:36:25.976-07:00Cooking For OneWell, a year of yoga was amazing. It taught me so much. And the practice has become part of my life.
But it is time for the blog to grow and change. This is a project for me about my own writing -- my own creativity and exploration. With each year I learn about myself -- about my own writing -- and about the process of project.
This years' project is called
Eating For One. Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-54733391082885819512012-08-25T15:07:00.001-07:002012-08-25T15:08:20.939-07:00My RebellionI didn't practice for a month.
It's interesting to me -- when something that you work to become committed to becomes something you need to rebel against...
My teacher went on retreat at the end of July and I simply could not make myself do hardly anything... I suppose I did some headstands -- and a few poses here and there -- but I just simply wanted no part of the mat. And I couldn't change itJennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-42339278558289719292012-06-10T18:29:00.000-07:002012-06-10T18:29:13.822-07:00on Interdependance and Dancer's PoseI went to my first flow class today since I hurt my ankle. It was a gentle class -- it didn't feel gentle.
Healing is so slow.
I tried simply to listen and learn about my ankle...
I am amazed at how long it takes to heal.
I try to always use those times to learn compassion for people who are afflicted all the time... what if I spent my whole life in pain when I danced or ran...
I am amazed at Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-22128971406228538342012-06-01T07:10:00.000-07:002012-06-01T07:10:05.786-07:00Brilliant TeacherHard teacher needs a new name -- I think it might be Brilliant Teacher. I am learning so much from her about life and practice and myself. I miss sweet teacher -- but feel like this new space has opened...
The work Brilliant Teacher asks us to do is really hard -- it hurts and it pushes me and it requires me to understand the ways that I need to shift what I thought I had been doing well. Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-90880926353678362072012-05-24T03:58:00.001-07:002012-05-24T03:58:16.048-07:00My DoorYesterday in class, Hard Teacher read a passage from Light on Life which talks about the space within and the space outside a vessel. A vase, a body. In art there is negative space -- there is line and form and light and shadow. I have studied visually the way the one creates the other...
When we work a pose, she said, we are used to working on the outside space. What I want you to play with Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-83203573123598757922012-05-21T11:50:00.003-07:002012-05-21T11:52:35.469-07:00It Was In the CardsThis morning during my practice I kept finding myself just lying on my back staring at the ceiling. I was disappointed in myself -- and the practice -- and I'm just tired of my body today. It seems unfathomable to me -- after having so many varied ailments over the last year -- that I would fall out of bed and screw up all of my mobility for months to come. Irony of all irony, my own bed is on Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-77240361169350780902012-05-07T04:08:00.000-07:002012-05-07T04:08:01.065-07:00Luxury of the fastAgain, during Pranayama today I was feeling so panicky on the exhale.
And I thought, for a moment, that is just the way I feel about love.
(Then I thought, for a moment, I should get up and write my blog now -- then I thought that would be decidedly not finishing my practice... sigh.)And I'm always amazed at what happens if you stick around...
Sweet teacher says, it is a luxury to be in your Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-33289643126398886542012-04-26T18:02:00.002-07:002012-04-26T18:29:24.771-07:00Because of love.Went to yoga today with a sprained ankle... I felt dumb doing it -- I knew vinyasa was not a good idea... but Sweet Teacher -- she's almost gone now. And I am going to miss her a lot. So I went. And it hurt -- I learned and I practiced and I took breaks and I was very tender...
Sometimes you just have to go ahead and be there, right -- even when it hurts, and it exacerbates an injury or it callsJennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-44940011677236141452012-04-22T04:40:00.000-07:002012-04-22T04:40:30.037-07:00To Seek Out DifficultyI think it's so interesting how things that used to be dificult become simple. How strength -- as if suddenly -- becomes possessed. The body learns.
How next to seek out difficulty... because it is in the focus and the attention to the weakness that we become strong.Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-1659593102367210582012-04-16T07:01:00.001-07:002012-04-16T07:02:05.595-07:00In a Hurry to InhaleIn addition to taking the class from Hard Teacher, I am taking a short course from her in Pranayama. I find it very interesting to learn about the expansiveness inside.
There was a saying in graduate school in poetry -- if you have to ask the question you will never know. Poets are so snotty. I'm not sure it's different in yoga, but the teachers smile and say, listen to your body. I think it's Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-66474069577278582932012-04-13T02:34:00.000-07:002012-04-13T02:39:02.715-07:00My New TeacherI have started taking a really
hard yoga class. I mean, the class that I usually take is hard, but this is
different… it’s a hard teacher, a hard style, a small group, it’s two hours. I
have been wanting to study with this teacher for a long time – this is the
woman who almost made us all throw up on Valentine’s day with her crazy back
bends… anyway, this was the only class that was open – and Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-30031070513643660312012-03-29T11:19:00.001-07:002012-03-29T11:20:03.261-07:00My Least Favorite PoseToday in class Sweet Teacher
asked us what our least favorite pose was. I answered incorrectly. I said frog,
but I think my least favorite pose is warrior… sigh. Sometimes shoulder stand.
Not headstand anymore…
It was interesting to think
about it – I realized how it changes – from day to day, the thing that is
hardest is different… the day the mood the moon...
She said, again, let go of
Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-63839383879447765752012-03-26T04:06:00.003-07:002012-03-26T04:06:46.207-07:00Walking ShivasanaSo - -I get these really goofy
updates from Yoga Journal. They are trite, and new-agey – and sometimes nice
little reminders in the morning – like the note on my phone to remind me to
call the dentist for my daughter this morning…
Anyway – this morning it talked
about yoga as a practice for life. This is not a new concept – but I think I
like it a lot because of the play on the word practice.Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-86782681464657871402012-03-22T11:11:00.001-07:002012-03-22T11:11:38.757-07:00Of Hyacinth and HopeThe weather is unseasonable.
It keeps going... but I keep waiting for winter...
The flowers are out. The breeze
has that soft, sweet lift… it’s warm…
This morning, Sweet teacher had
us hang our head back – and where our hands usually push our pose further,
today, she had us take hold of our necks
and massage them.
Let go of all the tension. Relax your shoulders. Feel all
the stoicism Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-88163946007537743982012-03-17T05:09:00.002-07:002012-03-17T05:09:36.638-07:00So Much To Be Afraid OfYesterday in the Oms that
opened class, Sweet Teacher said, Let the sound of Om remind us that in this
world where there is so much to be afraid of, let our own voices never be one
of them.
I was next to a brand new yogi
– she was new to it all and had stumbled in to this hard class – with chanting
and partners and headstands… like flying monkeys and wicked witches…
She was amazing Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-13248283051844209782012-03-05T09:29:00.002-08:002012-03-05T09:29:26.847-08:00Sweet BreakfastI was away for a conference in Chicago for just under a week. I had a room that overlooked Grant Park, the city, Lake Michigan. On the first day I had some free time and thought I would do some Chicago things that I love to do... Instead, I barely got out of bed. It was King sized -- with the curtains wide open -- creatureless and tucked in... I think I slept for about 17 hours that first day. I Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-87510005615726990772012-02-16T03:53:00.000-08:002012-02-16T03:53:45.382-08:00Shivasana KissesA funny thing happened last week...
I had this luxurious 5 days where all I had to do was listen to wonderful yoga teachers tell me what to do -- it was spread out over a week, but started with a three hour heart opening workshop -- on the few off days I found sleep more desirable than practice.
It was really wonderful -- and by the end, I noticed, I was missing my own voice. I was tired of otherJennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-39085211318034236742012-02-09T17:52:00.000-08:002012-02-09T17:53:34.377-08:00Scared of my shadow...I get superstitious about some things... it's true. I used to have the collected works of Emily Dickenson by my bed in college -- and pretty much any time I opened it it would speak directly to my situation. There have been other books too. And this crazy guy who does amazing horoscopes... I don't believe in such things -- but him...
Sometimes I think it's just a matter of what you want to hear -Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-91492701027996846812012-01-28T10:46:00.000-08:002012-01-28T10:46:11.600-08:00Out Of BreathJanuary 28
A few months ago I told a
teacher, who was talking to me and a friend about breath and yoga, that
breath-work – pranayama – made me
panicky. I get anxious in the state of trying to control my own intake – the
feeling would well, suddenly, that I would not be able to breathe, that there
is not enough air. This is a little ironic, I suppose, as the purpose is to
learn how much Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-77660151249195835742012-01-16T04:30:00.001-08:002012-01-16T04:45:19.889-08:00Practice for life.January 16
This morning
I came to the mat distracted. I resisted the beginning. I started late. I
missed the breath work entirely trying to work on half lotus at the same time.
It is amazing that I can begin
to work on half lotus. I injured my hip in 2010 and through the middle of last
year I couldn’t even sit cross-legged.
I am wavering in my dedication
to something else today. Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3617009021843436954.post-68548128958137523552012-01-15T07:29:00.001-08:002012-01-15T07:29:41.924-08:00Disapointment.January 15
For the past two weeks I’ve
been quietly assessing what personal practice means to me…
I thought, at the beginning of
this project, that this endeavor might have a profound effect on my life – it
has. A week ago I went to another workshop on personal practice. This time, it
was less warm and fuzzy – more practical. More practiced.
Devotion. Discipline.
These were the things Jennifer S. Flescherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18145100217466153112noreply@blogger.com0