Not Cooking for One

Ok... I've been dragging my feet on this new project.
I've been thinking about what kind of a construct would work
and if it would distract me from the writing I am supposed to be really focusing on right now...
how to begin, do I have the energy to begin, do I have anything good left to say...

I've been thinking of it like a writing project.
But that isn't how this thing started -- each year I really changed core things in my life... and each year I learned about something in my life that I wanted to understand better...

Over the last two days I have eaten frozen shumai from Trader Joe's (why I don't go there) 3 times and had crackers for dinner twice.

It's such a horrible feeling -- being hungry -- wanting something real -- settling for something unsatisfying and bad for myself.

Sometimes it actually feels like cooking for myself is a waste of time -- or self indulgent -- or too lonely.
Sometimes it is just laziness... just like oil, just like yoga -- it is so easy to be lazy about things. Good things. Things that make a difference.

Construct -- I'm going to make note every time I eat alone. Track it through the year.

Fitting now -- Thanksgiving to Thanksgiving, that will be the span of this year, give two days...  Feast. After Harvest -- we need food and light to get us through the winter...

What will I learn in every meal alone in a year...