Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Begin at the beginning...

I end things very slowly. I drag my feet -- I resist -- I complain A lot.
Things have always changed all the time for me -- and so it baffles me that I am so very bad at it...
None the less, it always has to be done.
There have been a lot of endings in the last six months --
and so beginnings get slowed too...

But here it is, 2013 -- and I'm ready to start on this new project -- Cooking For One.

This is the third year-long project I've done on this blog.
Each one has been designed to help me think about some aspect of my life I want to understand better...

This year I want to learn about eating and cooking -- not the cooking I do for my kids -- but the cooking I do for myself. And other things...

As it happens, just this year (all two weeks of it) I have given up gluten and dairy. I did this in response to a number of nagging health issues were hanging around -- in a hanging heavily onto my skirt so as to weigh me down as I walked around the room every day kind of way.

I think that part of my resistance to sinking into this blog has been how personal it feels. This is different than learning about oil -- or even practicing yoga -- this is my eating... and all of the flaws and hang ups an issues that live in there...

To start with, I don't want to be a person who doesn't eat dairy or gluten. I don't.
I am extremely low-mainanence. On purpose... things were always changing for me and so I needed to be able to fit in anywhere at any time... I hate to be noticed... I would rather disappear.

It is not easy to disappear on a strange diet.
It is not easy to eat out...

Maybe that's part of our culture... food, more and more, is supposed to be easy. We have filled so much of our time and our lives and our three different screens at a time that our food has to be ready made and homogenous...

Tonight I'm cooking for two and for one -- because I want to make their kids one of their favorites -- because I want them to like it and not complain -- because I want to make something easy that I know they will like...

So tonight I have to find something to make for myself at the same time...

Nothing seems easy these days.
The earth, the body, the rules... everything sometimes seems to be breaking down around me and I feel like I am simply looking for something to hold on to...

I did, however, find these amazing vegan cookies. I'm sure they will be pretty easy to make, but today, sometimes a little easy helps in the beginning, and other things.







1 comment:

Alex de Frondeville said...

Woohoo! I get to post the first comment of year 3!