Sunday, December 23, 2007

My Rooms

I'm still stuck on this idea of connection and disconnection. I'm interested in learning more about why and how I do things --

I think it's easy for me (us -- people -- countries -- friends -- consumers) to get entirely out of sync with what's even in my own home. What do I do daily?

There's a complaint of Americans -- of American poets -- of women and of women poets -- that we are too narcissistic as a culture -- I,I,I,I and on that way forever. But I think there's a backlash too -- and as is the case with anything like narcissism the problem is not thinking about the self, it's the size and scale we see that self become. Grandiose and nothing.

By the same token, I'm trying to figure out some bit of my own attachment to this life. There have been, over the last few years all sorts of experiments by authors looking to follow this same line of thought -- someone living off food only from their community -- someone living exactly as the bible says. Because if we don't look at what we do -- if we don't take it out of the norm -- than we can't understand it; even the little bit that we can. I want to have an idea of a Nigerian home and also of my own. A poet said to me last year -- the trick is to really understand our own privilege and learn how to appreciate it and to use it -- not to our own benefit but to everyones.

It's really hard to balance -- there is something out of alignment if we say I have an impact; there is something out of alignment if we say I don't have an impact.

In the pursuit of balance, this morning, I went through and found one thing in every room I love made out of oil and one thing I think is completely wasteful. I did it in the order I generally wake up and start the day --

My room.
I have a ring I love that is inlaid with rubber -- I bought it from a RISD student in a street fair 20 years ago.
Yoga pants.

Kids Rooms.
Baby Alive.

Sample packets from Kiehls.

Garbage bags.
Zip lock bags.

Office (my dining room).
Plastic bags that allow my journal to be sold in bookstores. (ack)
Disposable mechanical pencils.

Living Room.
My slippers. They have really heavy soles and I wear them everyday.
Plant holders.

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