Saturday, March 17, 2012

So Much To Be Afraid Of

Yesterday in the Oms that opened class, Sweet Teacher said, Let the sound of Om remind us that in this world where there is so much to be afraid of, let our own voices never be one of them.

I was next to a brand new yogi – she was new to it all and had stumbled in to this hard class – with chanting and partners and headstands… like flying monkeys and wicked witches… 
She was amazing and I loved being next to her.

And I thought about being afraid of my own voice. How much has changed with this practice.
I’m learning…
the thing about chanting is… I think it feels good. The warmth of the vibration and the way it fills you. I thought about the monks – wandering around in those dank halls – they must have gotten cold when they quieted down – must have missed the music.

I love the way that breath and vibration – love too works this way – can fill and make cavernous that which seems shallow or flat at other times.

She also said, as she often does, focus on the rest moments. Is this where the difficulty is for you…

I realized that that is not where I am right now. I have worked so hard for the last six months to learn about the space inside and the quiet – suddenly I realized that for me the difficulty right now is in the engagement.

I know that the healing has been taking place. I know that I have found a good deal more peace than I had when I began – but then I suppose the next part is… well, not being afraid to come back out.

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