Strength

October 25, 2011

I think I expect that entry and existence will be greeted with the same energy. But today they are different…

Funny, yesterday I was a little dreading Sweet Teacher... her warm ups are so hard. Sometimes they feel like torture -- and I almost didn't go. Of course, what I was expecting was the opposite from what came. She even forgot to have us introduce ourselves -- just dive in and rub your partners shoulders... it felt so good on Monday morning. Such a gift of an approach. 

My approach to headstand was so comfortable today – from quiet strength of the core – no wall, no waiver.

But I feel weak. Balance is difficult. Upside down is difficult. A little better than yesterday -- but the same feeling. I only stayed maybe a minute or a  half a minute twice… I didn’t force anything… I listened to someone for several hours this weekend who said, “don’t bully your breath – don’t bully the pose…”

I think I think about building to strength… like a staircase…

but that’s not right, it occurs to me today…

Strength is as fluid as a day, if we listen. It comes and goes.

I think that what is inside is independent from my knowledge. From what I think it should be like today…

It feels so much stronger to notice the weakness than to try to prove to myself that I am strong...