Monday, December 5, 2011

All sorts of breaks.

December 5

The other day I was working with a yoga teacher who focuses on breath – focuses on personal practice. I was a bit of an onlooker – but it was important for me to be thinking about this deep connection to the practice.

At the end, I asked him about Warrior. My knee has been tweaking in the pose, and I thought maybe it was just a little out of allignment.

I told him about my hip injury. I told him I couldn’t square or turn, still. For a year I couldn’t rotate at all.

He asked me what happened when I didn’t go as deeply into the pose. He didn't need to say what came next... 

Your body is strong. And your body holds the memory of the pose. So you have to back off intentionally.

Of course. Sigh.

This morning I am wanting what was there before. There was a freedom. A comfort. A love -- I remember...

Impossible, of course. The memory of the pre-injury. All sorts of things break at once.

Instead of acknowledging the grief I would rather try to put myself back in the old position.

We learn, of course. With every new adjustment. About ourselves – far more strength than before.  

1 comment:

Lisa Merrai Labon said...

oh I love this insight. I, too, have been wanting to go back to something like before. Feeling something was better or that I didn't cherish a unique and special moment/person/feeling enough and if only I put my intentions on that again I might hold it with this new mindfulness I've gained. Sometimes I feel like my mindfulness is nothing but a new name for mulling. And in mulling I am certainly not allowing the present to be appreciated as fully as something else lingering in my memory...a feeling of youth, indomitable spirit, courage, beauty...and interesting how the body is so integral to the immortal mind...once it begins to "fail" or age, I notice those sands slipping through the hour glass and time seems to press upon me the urgency of my any pose, in any moment. A sign of mid life? I'm sure. And still I'd like to shift back into the deeper muscle memory and reinhabit that invincible mind.